It's 23:56 and I've not posted on this blog in ages even though I said that I would. I just downloaded the WordPress app on my phone specifically so I could write this post. I really need to get this off my chest.
It's not even anything to worry about, and this is my problem. I worry and wind myself up about the tiniest thing to the point where I've been trying to get to sleep for two hours now, and my mind will simply not shut off.
What I'm I worried about tonight brushing past somebody on the stairs almost a month ago.
One of my fellow cast members in the recent stage production that I was in was sat on the bottom step of a steep flight of stairs that I was coming down to get onto the stage. In my usual state, I was rushing as I was late to get onto stage and flying down the stairs and she was sat in the centre. I attempted to go around her as I didn't want to disturb her and knocked into the table of microphones as I went by. Once she had saw me she profusely apologised for not moving and didn't sit there again for the rest of the run. The microphones and everything were fine, and yet I'm sat here worried about a small accident that was only partially my fault?!?
I know this is stupid but my brain simply won't let me forget about the littlest of moments that make my life into one big shambles.
I'm a mess.
I thought posting stuff like this on here might help as I'm writing it down, rather than keeping it all locked up inside… We will see.
If you got to this point of this post, I'm sorry, and I may see you again soon.

One thought on “Sorry

  1. I know it may not seem like it, but a lot of us actually overthink like that. I myself do it, at least. And trust me, Rose, it is as useless as it is uncontrollable. Writing it down helped me, and writing it down on paper and tearing it apart helped even more. Being sensitive like this is a pain, but at some point it will get better (I know from experience). Just try to not be too hard on yourself. You are a good person and you should start believing that. Sorry for this dreadfully long comment with no structure whatsoever.

    Liked by 1 person

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